Surat Luqman was revealed in Mecca.   The theme of the Surah is the importance of wisdom. The best wisdom can be sought from the Quran, the book of wisdom. The Surat started by declaring that that the Quran is the book of wisdom.

الٓمٓ (١) تِلۡكَ ءَايَـٰتُ ٱلۡكِتَـٰبِ ٱلۡحَكِيمِ (٢) هُدً۬ى وَرَحۡمَةً۬ لِّلۡمُحۡسِنِينَ (٣)

“Alif-Lam-Mim. (1) These are Verses of the Wise Book. (2) A Guide and a Mercy to the doers of good.” (31:1-3).

While there are many definitions to the term wisdom, wisdom is demonstrated by the ability to do the right thing in the right place at the right time. In this Suart the demonstration of wisdom was presented in the teaching strategy of Luqman to his son.  Allah described Luqman, as a man who was granted wisdom.  Allah says:

وَلَقَدۡ ءَاتَيۡنَا لُقۡمَـٰنَ ٱلۡحِكۡمَةَ أَنِ ٱشۡكُرۡ لِلَّهِ‌ۚ وَمَن يَشۡڪُرۡ فَإِنَّمَا يَشۡكُرُ لِنَفۡسِهِۦ‌ۖ وَمَن كَفَرَ فَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَنِىٌّ حَمِيدٌ۬ (١٢)

We gave Wisdom to Luqman and said: “Be grateful to Allah.” Whoever is grateful is, in fact, grateful for his own benefits and whoever is ungrateful, Allah is free of all needs, worthy of all praise. (Luqman 31:12)

Allah did not inform us of who Luqman was, whether he was a prophet and just righteous man.  Knowing who is he should have no bearing on the lessons learnt from his wisdom in the way he taught his child. The focus should always be on the learning from wisdom and not on who possessed the wisdom.

The demonstration of Luqman’s wisdom is in his priorities in teaching his son both religious and worldly matters. Luqman started his advice to his son by saying:

وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَانُ لِابْنِهِ وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُ يَا بُنَيَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِاللَّهِ إِنَّ الشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيم

“Behold, Luqman said to his son while he was advising him: “O my dear son, do not ascribe partners to Allah. Ascribing partners to Allah is indeed a major injustice.” (31:13)

Luqman’s wisdom is shown by the selection of his words.  Notice that Luqman addressed his son with affection. He said “Bonay” (بُنَيَّ) “My dear son” and not just ‘Ibni” (إبنى) “my son”. This teaches us to show affection when providing advice or teaching to allow our words to touch people’s hearts.

A key observation to note is Luqman’s priorities.  He did not start by teaching his son about do or don’t. He started by teaching him the cornerstone of Islam, the concept of “Tawhid” monotheism”.  He did not just tell him not to associate partners with Allah, but he connected doing so with something that is repulsive by nature (fitrah) which is “major Injustice” (لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيم).  Note that he also did not invoke threats regarding what will happen if one commits shirk. Rather he appealed to his son’s intelligence and sense fairness by telling him that worshiping others with Allah constitutes a major injustice “zulm Azeem.” (إِنَّ الشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيم).

While this Ayat does not tell us what else Luqman told his son to explain why shirk is grave injustice, one can expect that he discussed with him the wonders of Allah’s creations. The reason for this expectation is that in the Ayat preceding to Luqman’s advice, Allah emphasized the injustice of associating others with Him when He informed us of some of His creations:

خَلَقَ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٲتِ بِغَيۡرِ عَمَدٍ۬ تَرَوۡنَہَا‌ۖ وَأَلۡقَىٰ فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ رَوَٲسِىَ أَن تَمِيدَ بِكُمۡ وَبَثَّ فِيہَا مِن كُلِّ دَآبَّةٍ۬‌ۚ وَأَنزَلۡنَا مِنَ ٱلسَّمَآءِ مَآءً۬ فَأَنۢبَتۡنَا فِيہَا مِن ڪُلِّ زَوۡجٍ۬ كَرِيمٍ (١٠) هَـٰذَا خَلۡقُ ٱللَّهِ فَأَرُونِى مَاذَا خَلَقَ ٱلَّذِينَ مِن دُونِهِۦ‌ۚ بَلِ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ فِى ضَلَـٰلٍ۬ مُّبِينٍ۬ (١١)

“He created the heavens without pillars that you can see; He set on the earth firm mountains, lest it should shake with you; and He spread over it all kinds of creatures. And We send down water from the sky and caused to grow in it every kind of noble pairs.  (10) This is the Creation of Allah: now show Me what is created by those others besides Him. Rather the unjust are in clear error.” (Luqman 31:10-11)

It is extremely important that before we inform our children of the commands of Allah, to first make the concept of Allah as the creator very clear in their mind.  Concepts that children learn at a young age remain engraved in their mind.  It is likely that Luqman spent time with his son studying the stars and explaining to him the universe and how Allah controls it.  He may have also taken him to a garden and explained to him how from a seed Allah makes the different plants, flowers and trees grow. He may have also sat with his son and explained the miracles of human creation and how Allah created our eyesight, hearing, and our ability to walk and read.   Reflecting on Allah’s creations is the proper approach to make the child understand who Allah is.

Luqman continued his advice with informing his son of Allah’s attributes.   He placed the focus on Allah’s knowledge.  Again, no threats or coercion, Luqman said:

يَا بُنَيَّ إِنَّهَا إِنْ تَكُ مِثْقَالَ حَبَّةٍ مِنْ خَرْدَلٍ فَتَكُنْ فِي صَخْرَةٍ أَوْ فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ أَوْ فِي الْأَرْضِ يَأْتِ بِهَا اللَّهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَطِيفٌ خَبِير

“O my dear son, if there be anything to the measure of a mustard-seed that is (hidden) in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Surely, Allah is Lateef (Gentle and knows all details) and (Khabeer) All-Aware.  (Luqman 31:16)

 We note the progression in the child’s education that began with teaching the concept of Tawheed, followed with the key attributes of Allah focusing on Allah’s awareness and knowledge of everything, no matter how minute it is. Luqman was teaching his son that even little things are important.

Since Luqman emphasized to his son that Allah is aware of all what he does, he did not want his son to feel threatened that Allah is watching him all the time. So, he used one of Allah’s beautiful name, Al-Lateef, to give comfort to his son and instill in him the love of Allah who is gentle, kind, forgiving.  The child will know that Allah is watching him with the eye of Al-Lateef, the gentle and kind and not with the eye of “The Punisher”.

So far, Luqman’s teachings focused on the two most important doctrines in religious education: (التوحيد و المراقبة) Tawheed and Muraqaba (monotheism and monitoring).   Luqman did this before teaching his son any command regarding what to do or not do. After reinforcing these two doctrines, his son is now ready to receive the key commands of Allah.

يَا بُنَيَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَانْهَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلَى مَا أَصَابَكَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُور

“O my dear son! establish the prayer, enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil; and be patient in facing whatever may befall you. Surely, this is something to set the heart steadfast upon. (31:17)

In this Ayat, Luqman gave his son 4 commands: establish prayers, calling for good, forbidding wrong, and being patient. Notice that he again started with the cornerstone which is establishing a strong relationship with Allah by maintaining prayers. Three out of the four commands were all related to behavioral and moral values.  This gave the child a sense of his social responsibility toward others which requires patience because it is likely that he will face difficulties. Then Luqman explained that his willing to face difficulties is a proof of the strength and firmness of his commitment and resolve (إِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُور).

Because teaching the son leadership and standing for the truth may give him a sense of superiority, Luqman wanted to instill in his son humility:

وَلَا تُصَعِّرۡ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمۡشِ فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ مَرَحًا‌ۖ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخۡتَالٍ۬ فَخُورٍ۬ (١٨) وَٱقۡصِدۡ فِى مَشۡيِكَ وَٱغۡضُضۡ مِن صَوۡتِكَ‌ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ ٱلۡأَصۡوَٲتِ لَصَوۡتُ ٱلۡحَمِيرِ (١٩)

“And do not turn your cheek (with pride) away from people, and do not walk arrogantly on the earth: for Allah does not love any arrogant boaster. (18) “And be modest in your walking and lower your voice; for the ugliest of voices is the bray of the donkeys.”  (31:18-19)

The son was taught humility, and that arrogance is evil.  The son was also taught how to avoid the appearance of arrogance. The son learned how to walk and speak properly.  The son learned the importance of communicating calmly. Calm communication demonstrates control and intelligence.  Again, Luqman connected yelling and loud voices to something that is repulsive by nature (fitrah), “Donkeys Bray”.

Part of the wisdom that parents need to learn from Luqman is the way he framed the statement of rejecting arrogance.  When he wanted to advise his child against arrogance, he did not say “Allah hates the arrogant boaster”.  Instead, he said “Allah does not love the arrogant boaster.” (إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ)., the term “Mukhtal” implies showing arrogance through actions and the term “Fakhour” implies showing arrogance by words.  Perhaps parents should learn how to frame their words when addressing children regarding something wrong that they did. Instead of expressing their displeasure by saying: “I hate what you have done, or I am mad about what you did”, it would be better to say: “I do not love what you have done.” The first approach seems to be playing on the child’s desire to simply avoid the anger of the parent; while the second approach seems to be playing on the child’s desire to maintain the love of the parents.

Another important lesson for the parents is to heed Luqman’s warning to his son regarding how he would look to people when he speaks with loud voice. Parents need to be patient and speak softly and refrain from shouting and screaming at the child or at each other; otherwise, they will sound like donkeys.

Another very important lesson is that Luqman’s commands to his son started with the  ritual, which is prayer, but then focused on character building and proper behavior.  Focusing on the continuous improvement of the Muslim moral character was key part of the education system of early Muslims.   It reported that the Mother of the great scholar Sofian Al-Thouri ( سفيان الثوريّ) used to tell him:

وهذه أمٌّ مسلِمة ومربّية واعيَة تجلّي لابنها الهدفَ من التعليم وقيمةَ التّربية، تقول أمّ سفيان الثوريّ الذي غدا في عصره علَمًا: “يا بنيّ، خذ هذه عشرة دراهم، وتعلّم عشرةَ أحاديث، فإذا وجدتها تُغيِّر في جلستِك ومِشيتك وكلامك مع الناس فأقبِل عليه، وأنا أعينُك بمِغزلي هذا، وإلاّ فاتركه، فإني أخشَى أن يكونَ وبالاً عليك يومَ القيامة

“Take these 10 dinars and learn ten hadiths. Only if I found that they changed the way you sit and walk and the way you speak to people, come back to me and I’ll help you with my thread spinning work to study more.  Otherwise, leave the learning because my fear is that your knowledge will be a curse on you on the Day of Judgment”.  

The Prophet (PBUH) said:

عن أبي هريرة ـ رضي الله عنه ـ قال: قال رسول الله ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ( إنما بعثت لأتمم صالح الأخلاق) رواه أحمد .

“I haven’t been sent except to perfect the good manners.”

One interesting observation when looking at the sequence of these Ayat is that Luqman did not advise his son to respect and obey him and his mother.  But Allah was the One who delivered the advice to the son.  Allah said:

وَوَصَّيۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٲلِدَيۡهِ حَمَلَتۡهُ أُمُّهُ ۥ وَهۡنًا عَلَىٰ وَهۡنٍ۬ وَفِصَـٰلُهُ ۥ فِى عَامَيۡنِ أَنِ ٱشۡڪُرۡ لِى وَلِوَٲلِدَيۡكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلۡمَصِيرُ (١٤) وَإِن جَـٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشۡرِكَ بِى مَا لَيۡسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلۡمٌ۬ فَلَا تُطِعۡهُمَا‌ۖ وَصَاحِبۡهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنۡيَا مَعۡرُوفً۬ا‌ۖ وَٱتَّبِعۡ سَبِيلَ مَنۡ أَنَابَ إِلَىَّ‌ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرۡجِعُكُمۡ فَأُنَبِّئُڪُم بِمَا كُنتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُونَ (١٥)

 “And We have commanded man (to be good) to his parents: his mother bore him despite weakness upon weakness in weakness, and his weaning in two years: (so the command from Allah is), “Be grateful to Me and to your parents: to Me is (your ultimate) return.” (14) But if they strive to make you ascribe partners to Me, about which you have no knowledge, do not obey them; but maintain their company in this life with kindness and follow the path of the one who turns towards Me. Then, to Me is your return, and I will tell you all that you were doing.”    (31:14-15)

These two Ayat teach us many lessons:

1. When we guide our children to Allah, He will guide them to our respect and obedience without us asking for them.
2. As Allah directs our children to love, respect and obey us, we should give our parents their due rights of love, respect, and obedience.
3. Allah gives special attention to the mother because of the hardship that she faced in bringing a child to this life and taking care of the children in their most critical time.   With this special emphasis from Allah, the father must take heed and show his gratitude, love, and respect for his wife to demonstrate to the children how the mother should be treated.
4. Allah emphasizes the importance of showing kindness to parents even if they strive to make their child join others in worship with Allah. Even in this, the child’s disobedience should not be accompanied by separation and improper treatment but rather with continued courtesy and love.
5. Parents need to know that their children need support-group of righteous friends and community members whom they can turn to for advice in case they may not feel comfortable seeking parents’ advice.   Whether parents like it or not, the fact is that your child may sometimes be willing to accept some advice from someone other than you.  This makes it important for each community to develop support groups.
6. Parents need to be examples for doing good and turning to Allah because this will make them role models for their children as well as others.
7. These two Ayat end with emphasizing our personal accountability by stating that we will return to Allah and He will hold us accountable for our actions.

While the Surat gives us great lessons regarding how to teach our children, it emphasizes our individual responsibility in front of Allah. The parents are not responsible for the actions of their children and the children are not responsible for the actions of their parents.  Allah says:

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمۡ وَٱخۡشَوۡاْ يَوۡمً۬ا لَّا يَجۡزِى وَالِدٌ عَن وَلَدِهِۦ وَلَا مَوۡلُودٌ هُوَ جَازٍ عَن وَالِدِهِۦ شَيۡـًٔا‌ۚ إِنَّ وَعۡدَ ٱللَّهِ حَقٌّ۬‌ۖ فَلَا تَغُرَّنَّڪُمُ ٱلۡحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنۡيَا وَلَا يَغُرَّنَّڪُم بِٱللَّهِ ٱلۡغَرُورُ (٣٣)

O people, be conscious of our Lord and stand in awe of the Day on which no parent will be of any avail to his child, nor a child will be of any avail to his parent. Allah’s promise is surely true. So, do not let this worldly life delude you, and do not let any deceptive thoughts about Allah delude you. (31:33)

The Surat ended by emphasizing the absolute knowledge of Allah.

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عِندَهُ ۥ عِلۡمُ ٱلسَّاعَةِ وَيُنَزِّلُ ٱلۡغَيۡثَ وَيَعۡلَمُ مَا فِى ٱلۡأَرۡحَامِ‌ۖ وَمَا تَدۡرِى نَفۡسٌ۬ مَّاذَا تَڪۡسِبُ غَدً۬ا‌ۖ وَمَا تَدۡرِى نَفۡسُۢ بِأَىِّ أَرۡضٍ۬ تَمُوتُ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرُۢ (٣٤(

“Verily, with Allah alone the knowledge of the (last) Hour, and He sends down the rain, and knows what is in the wombs. No one knows what he will earn tomorrow, and no one knows in which land he will die. Indeed, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware.” (31: 34)

There are five hidden spheres of information that no one knows but Allah.  These are: 1) the time of the Day of Judgment, 2) the time and the amount of the rainfall, 3) the information about that fetus in the womb, 4) what one will earn in the future, and 5) where each person will die.

Regarding the hidden knowledge of what is in the womb, note that Allah did not say He knows who (من) is in the womb, but He said that He knows what (ما) is in the womb (يَعۡلَمُ مَا فِى ٱلۡأَرۡحَامِ‌). People now know who is in the womb, boy or girl, but they will never know the nature of the one in the womb regarding his level of intelligence, how long he will live, where he will live, his role in life, his health, how much he will earn, where to live, etc.