الحمد لله نحمده ونستعينة ونستغفره، ونعوذ بالله من شرور أنفسنا، ومن سيئات أعمالنا ، وأشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له ، وأشهد أن سيدنا محمداً عبده ورسوله ، اللهم صلِّ وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وأصحابه  ومن تبعه إلى يوم الدين 

This talk is a continuation of last week talk that focused in highlighting the importance of having a pure and sound heart as prerequisite for success in the Hereafter as Allah says:

يَوْمَ لَا يَنْفَعُ مَالٌ وَلَا بَنُونَ إِلَّا مَنْ أَتَى اللَّهَ بِقَلْبٍ سَلِيمٍ

“At that day neither wealth nor progeny shall be of benefit, except one who comes to Allah with a sound heart.” (Al-Shuara 26:88-89)

Last week presentation discussed the 20 kinds of hearts of which 8 are good and 12 are evil and highlighted the important of dhikr Allah.  We ended the presentation by discussing the nature and the treatment of one of the diseases of the heart which is Evy and included discussion on the evil eye. 

Today, I plan to Insha’Allah discuss one of the major diseases of the heart and may be the most dangerous and this is anger and make recommendation regarding its treatment.  

Studies done on anger suggests that anger is frequently a sign that something in our lives is out of balance and that anger is often a mask for deeply vulnerable feelings such as hurt, fear, shame, and grief.  Studies also suggest that the nature and response to anger can be different between women and men.

Women’s anger is frequently caused by violating their core values and beliefs, especially in intimate relationships. Women tend to internalize anger because they have been conditioned to suppress anger, and this can lead to illnesses such as anxiety, insomnia, and digestive disorders.

Men’s anger is frequently caused by the inability to control or fix interpersonal issues and practical problems. Men tend to have a strong physical response when angry, that they may discharge through physical acts of frustration such as throwing something and yelling. Men are at increased risk of high blood pressure, heart attack and stroke if their anger isn’t handled constructively.

However, there are women who may also act out their anger, and men who may internalize their feelings. Regardless of gender, both men and women can suffer the feelings of depression, guilt, shame and self-blame about their anger issues – especially if an angry outburst has hurt or caused others pain.

When examining published literatures as well training courses, many are written and given by psychologists, that discuss anger and how to manage it, you will realize key difference between how they treat the issue and how the issue of anger is treated in both the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet (PBUH).  A key difference is that the literature suggests that there is good and constructive anger and there is obviously bad and destructive anger.  However, neither the Quran nor the hadith mention anything about good anger and always warned against anger and focused on how to treat anger through forgiveness.

In fact, the Quran mentions the account of two prophets who confronted situations that made them angry and in both cases the outcome of their reactions was bad.  One example is related to the anger of Prophet Musa from his people because of their worship of the calf.  The Quran informs us that his anger caused him to throw on the ground the divine revelation that he received form Allah and to drag his older brother from his beard embarrassing him in front of the people.  An example of this account is in surat Al-Araf, Allah says:

الأعراف – الآية 150وَلَمَّا رَجَعَ مُوسَىٰ إِلَىٰ قَوْمِهِ غَضْبَانَ أَسِفًا قَالَ بِئْسَمَا خَلَفْتُمُونِي مِن بَعْدِي ۖ أَعَجِلْتُمْ أَمْرَ رَبِّكُمْ ۖ وَأَلْقَى الْأَلْوَاحَ وَأَخَذَ بِرَأْسِ أَخِيهِ يَجُرُّهُ إِلَيْهِ ۚ قَالَ ابْنَ أُمَّ إِنَّ الْقَوْمَ اسْتَضْعَفُونِي وَكَادُوا يَقْتُلُونَنِي فَلَا تُشْمِتْ بِيَ الْأَعْدَاءَ وَلَا تَجْعَلْنِي مَعَ الْقَوْمِ الظَّالِمِينَ

“And when Musa (Moses) returned to his people, angry and sad, he said: “What an evil thing you have done in my absence. Did you act in haste against the command of your Lord ” And he threw down the Tablets and grabbed the head of his brother, dragging him towards him. He (Haroun): “O my mother’s son, the people judged me weak and were about to kill me, so do not make the enemies laugh at me, and do not make me among the wrong-doers.” (Al-Araft 7:150)

The second example is of Prophet Yunus who got angry form his people for rejecting his message and left them. Allah punished him by making a whale swallow him.  An example of this account is in Surat Al-Anbiya, Allah says: ‘

وَذَا ٱلنُّونِ إِذ ذَّهَبَ مُغَـٰضِبً۬ا فَظَنَّ أَن لَّن نَّقۡدِرَ عَلَيۡهِ فَنَادَىٰ فِى ٱلظُّلُمَـٰتِ أَن لَّآ إِلَـٰهَ إِلَّآ أَنتَ سُبۡحَـٰنَكَ إِنِّى ڪُنتُ مِنَ ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ (٨٧)

“And (mention) Dhu’n-Nun (Yunus), when he walked away in anger and thought that We would never put him to trouble, but he cried out in the darkness, saying: There is no God but You. Glorified are You! Indeed, I have been among the wrong-doers.” (Al-Anbiya 21:87)

While Islam recognizes that anger is a normal human emotion, and it is a signal that something needs to change, it emphasizes that the change will not come unless the first reaction to the person who is creating the condition causing the anger is his forgiveness to allow for having a measured and rationale response to address the issue creating the anger.   When you study the Quran and the hadith, you will be able to identify the divine prescription to anger that includes two elements:

1. The first element is knowledge-based treatment that addresses the human psyche of the need for incentives to develop the virtues of forgiveness, forbearance, endurance, and restraint.
2. The second element is action-based, offering specific things to do to control your anger.

The knowledge-based treatment: This form of the treatment considers the human psyche by offering key incentives that are gained by controlling your anger. 

1/ Allah teaches us that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness (taqwaa) and the reward for it is the love of Allah and His forgiveness and assurance of paradise, as Allah said:

وَسَارِعُوا إِلَى مَغْفِرَةٍ مِنْ رَبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا السَّمَاوَاتُ وَالْأَرْضُ أُعِدَّتْ لِلْمُتَّقِينَ الَّذِينَ يُنْفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

“Hasten to forgiveness for your Lord and a garden that expands the heavens and the earth prepared for the righteous who spend (in cause of Allah) in prosperity and in adversity, who restrain anger, and pardon the people; verily, Allah loves al-Muhsineen (the good-doers).” (Al-Imran3:133-134)

2/ Allah considers that controlling anger is one of the attributes of the true believers, Allah said regarding the believers:

وَالَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَائِرَ الْإِثْمِ وَالْفَوَاحِشَ وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُوا هُمْ يَغْفِرُونَ

“Those who avoid the major sins and immoralities and when they are angry, they forgive.” (Al-Shoura 42:37)

3/ Also, the messenger of Allah (PBUH) emphasized that controlling anger increases the person belief, he said:

قال النبي صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم: «وما من جرعة أحب إليَّ الله من جرعة غيظ يكظمها عبد، ما كظمها عبد لله إلا ملأ الله جوفه إيمانًا» (رواه أحمد: [1/327]،

 “No one has swallowed back anything more beloved to Allah than swallowing his anger.  No one swallows his anger, but Allah fills him with belief.” (Ahmad)

4/ The Prophet (PBUH) emphasized that controlling anger protects the person from the anger of Allah and this is critical because whoever Allah gets angry form his abode in Hellfire.   Abdullah Ibn Amr said that he asked the Prophet (PBUH):

وخرج الإمام أحمد من حديث عبدالله بن عمرو أنه سأل النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ماذا يباعدني من غضب الله عز وجل قال لا تغضب

 What would protect me from the anger of Allah? The Prophet (S) replied: Don’t get angry. 

Abu Hurrirah said that a man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said advise me.  The Prophet (PBUH) told him:

عن أبي هريرة رضي الله تعالى عنه أن رجلًا قال للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أوصني قال لا تغضب فردد مرارا قال لا تغضب)  (رواه البخاري(

Do not get angry the man repeated his requested and the Prophet (PBUH) repeated his answer several times. 

5/ The Prophet (PBUH) also highlighted that Allah will fill the heart of the person who controls his anger with contentment and happiness in the Day of Judgement and this is obviously an assurance of paradise.  The Prophet (PBUH) said:

قال صلى الله عليه وسلم: من كظم غيظاً ، ولو شاء أن يمضيه أمضاه ، ملأ الله قلبه رضاً يوم القيامة رواه الطبراني 12/453 وهو في صحيح الجامع

“Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it; Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection.” 

6/ The Prophet (PBUH) designated the control of anger as the sign of strength for any Muslim.  When the prophet (PBUH) inquired about people watching two people who were wresting and was told that one of them has never been defeated in a wrestling match, The Prophet (PBUH) said: :

فعن أنس أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم مرّ بقوم يصطرعون ، فقال : ماهذا ؟ قالوا : فلان الصريع ما يصارع أحداً إلا صرعه قال : أفلا أدلكم على من هو أشد منه ، رجلٌ ظلمه رجلٌ فكظم غيظه فغلبه وغلب شيطانه وغلب شيطان صاحبه  رواه البزار قال ابن حجر بإسناد حسن

“Shall I not tell you who would be far stronger than him. The man who, when he is mistreated by another, controls his anger, he is the stronger because he succeeded in defeating the other person and also defeated his own Shytan (Satan) and the Shytan of the other person.”  

The Same excellent quality of a Muslim is emphasized by the Prophet (PBUH) in another hadith, he (PBUH) said:

عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم قال: «ليس الشديد بالصُّرَعة إنما الشديد الذي يملك نفسه عند الغضب» (رواه البخاري: [5763]، ومسلم: [2609])

“The strongest is not the one who wrestles others down but the one who controls himself when angry.”

7/ The Prophet stressed that the person who controls his anger and does not respond to bad behavior by others is supported by an angel who will defend him but  he will be inviting Satan if he gets angery and responds.   Abu Hurrirah reported:   

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رضي الله عنه أَنَّ رَجُلًا شَتَمَ أَبَا بَكْرٍ وَالنَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ جَالِسٌ ، فَجَعَلَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَعْجَبُ وَيَتَبَسَّمُ ، فَلَمَّا أَكْثَرَ رَدَّ عَلَيْهِ بَعْضَ قَوْلِهِ ، فَغَضِبَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَقَامَ ، فَلَحِقَهُ أَبُو بَكْرٍ ، فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ كَانَ يَشْتُمُنِي وَأَنْتَ جَالِسٌ ، فَلَمَّا رَدَدْتُ عَلَيْهِ بَعْضَ قَوْلِهِ ، غَضِبْتَ وَقُمْتَ ، قَالَ: ” إِنَّهُ كَانَ مَعَكَ مَلَكٌ يَرُدُّ عَنْكَ ، فَلَمَّا رَدَدْتَ عَلَيْهِ بَعْضَ قَوْلِهِ ، وَقَعَ الشَّيْطَانُ ، فَلَمْ أَكُنْ لِأَقْعُدَ مَعَ الشَّيْطَانِ .” . : أخرجه أحمد في “مسنده”  ، وأبو داود في “سننه” ، والبزار في “مسنده” ، والبغوي في “شرح السنة” ، والبيهقي في “السنن الكبرى”

 A man was insulting Abu-Baker in the presence of the Prophet (PBUH) and Abu-Baker did not respond and the man repeated his insults to Abu Baker and Abu Bakr remained silent and the Prophet (PBUH) was smiling.  Then Abu Bakr responded top them with an insult and suddenly the Prophet face changes and stood up and left.   Abu Bakr went after the Prophet (PBUH) and said: O Messenger of Allah, you were sitting when the man was insulting me and I was silent but when I started defending myself and returning his insults, you started to leave, why? 

 The Prophet (PBUH) said: “When you were silent, Allah sent an angel responding on your behalf but when you started responding the angel left and Shaytan (Satan) came, and I cannot sit in a place where the Shaytan is present.”

8/ The Prophet (PBUH) stressed that the face of the angry person is ugly.  If an angry person could look at his own face in the mirror, he would feel disgusted with himself. The Prophet (PBUH) said:

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: «ألا وإن الغضب جمرة في قلب ابن آدم، اما رأيتم الى حمرة عينيه، وانتفاخ اوداجه، فمن احس بشيء من ذلك فليلتصق بالأرض».

 “Beware of anger, for it is a burning coal in the heart of the children of Adam. Do you not notice the redness of his eyes and the swelling of the veins of his neck. whoever feels something like this should lay on the ground.  

9/ The person who gets angry must realize that not only how horrible he looks but also how ugly he sounds, and his voice will be like that of a donkey as Luqman warned his son.  Allah reports to us this warning by saying:

وَاغْضُضْ مِنْ صَوْتِكَ إِنَّ أَنْكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ

 “Lower your voice, the ugliest of voices is the voice of the donkeys.”  (Luqman 31:19) 

10/ All these hadith and so many others should be offering sufficient incentives for any Muslim to control his anger.  A person who gets angry and does not forgive cannot be sure that he will be safe from Allah’s punishment on the Day of Judgment because Allah’s forgiveness belongs to those who forgive others as He said:

وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَنْ يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ

“Let them forgive and show tolerance, do you not want Allah to forgive you?  Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.” (Al-Nour 24:22) 

11/ Controlling anger and responding to evil with goodness can change the heart of the other person to become your best friend. It is human nature that people are inclined to love those who do good to them.  Allah says:

ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ

“Respond to evil with that which is best, so the one between you and him was hatred will become your sincere friend” (Al-Sajda 41:34).  

Element 2. Action Based Treatment

The Prophet (PBUH) provided us with certain actions to control the anger when the incentives that were promised by Allah and His messenger fare not completely sufficient. The following are specific cures to limit the effect of anger:

1/ Seek refuge with Allah from the Shytan:  The Prophet (PBUH) said:

وقال صلى الله عليه وسلم : إذا غضب الرجل فقال أعوذ بالله ، سكن غضبه )صحيح الجامع الصغير(

“If a man gets angry and says, `I seek refuge with Allah, his anger will diminish.”   

2/ Take Time-out by keeping silent:  The Prophet (PBUH) said:

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ( إذا غضب أحدكم فليسكت ) رواه الإمام أحمد في  المسند وفي صحيح الجامع

“If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent.”  

3/ Change position:  The Prophet (PBUH) said:

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ( إذا غضب أحدكم وهو قائم فليجلس ، فإن ذهب عنه الغضب وإلا فليضطجع

“If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down.”

4/ Perform ablution (Wudu): the Prophet (PBUH) said

رواه عطية السعدي أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال : ” إذا غضب أحدكم فليتوضأ فإنما الغضب من النار ” وفي رواية ” إن الغضب من الشيطان وإن الشيطان خلق من النار وإنما تطفأ النار بالماء ، فإذا غضب أحدكم فليتوضأ ” رواه داود .

“Anger comes from the Shaitan. The Shaitan was created from fire and fire is extinguished only with water. So, when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.”

5/ Recite a Du’aa’: Du’aa’ is always the weapon of the believer, The Prophet (PBUH) taught us this Dua in case of anger:

اللهمّ اغفر لي ذنبي، وأذهب غيظ قلبي، وأجرني من الشّيطان

“O Allah forgive me for my sin, and erase the anger form my heart and protect me form Satan.”

6/ Acknowledge Allah’s commandment when you are reminded.  Sincere people will remember Allah when they are reminded, and they will not overstep the mark. Only hypocrites will get angrier when they are reminded to fear Allah or to seek refuge with Allah from the shytan, they take the remainder as insult.   Ibn Abbas reported that a man came to the Khalifa Omar ibn al-Khattaab, and started shouting and saying:

عن ابن عباس رضي الله عنهما أن رجلاً استأذن على عمر رضي الله عنه فأذن له ، فقال له : يا ابن الخطاب والله ما تعطينا الجزل ( العطاء الكثير ) ولا تحكم بيننا بالعدل ، فغضب عمر رضي الله عنه حتى همّ أن يوقع به ، فقال ، ( وكان من جلساء عمر ) : يا أمير المؤمنين إن الله عز وجل قال لنبيه ، صلى الله عليه وسلم : ( خذ العفو وأمر بالعرف وأعرض عن الجاهلين ) وإن هذا من الجاهلين ، فوالله ما جاوزها عمر رضي الله عنه حين تلاها عليه ، وكان وقافاً عند كتاب الله عز وجل رواه البخاري

 “O son of al-Khattaab, you are holding back and not giving us much and you are judging unfairly between us.” `Omar became angry that he was about to strike the man, but Al-Hurr ibn Qays (الحر بن قيس), who was witnessing the event, said: “O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, Allah said to His Prophet (PBUH):

 خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ

“Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.” (Al- Araf 7:199) and this man is of the ignorant.    By Allah, as soon as he heard the verse, Omar froze and held back his anger.  

7/ Consider people’s particular sense of values and state of mind and be patient in your reaction to what they say or do.  One must always be patient and gage the impact of his reaction; Allah advises the Prophet (PBUH) by saying:

وَاصْبِرْ عَلَى مَا يَقُولُونَ وَاهْجُرْهُمْ هَجْرًا جَمِيلًا

“Be patient with what they say, and then part from them graciously. (Al-Muzzammil 73:10)  

8/ Watch for certain words: Be careful of words like ‘never’ or ‘always’ when talking about yourself or someone else. Statements such as: “the kids are never quite”, or “you  are always forgetting things” or “you never appreciated what I do”,  should never be used for at least 4 reasons:1) they are not inaccurate, 2) they only serve to make you feel that your anger is justified, 3) they suggest that there is no way to solve the problem, and 4) they alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution. You need to always be concise with what you say.  An issue that often brings conflict in the family is: why you did this and why you did not do that.  Anas ibn Malik ( ‏أنس بن مالك) said:

‏ خدمت رسول الله ‏ ‏صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ ‏عشر سنين والله ما قال لي أفا قط ولا قال لي لشيء لم فعلت كذا وهلا فعلت كذا

“I served the prophet (PBUH) for 10 years and he never said to me “oof”, or said why you did such and such, or why you did not do such and such? (Muslim)

If this is the way the Prophet (PBUH) treated his servant, can you imagine his noble treatment of his own family! 

9/ If you really become angry, you should express your anger in a passive way by withdrawal and even boycotting until you cool down.  But you must know that this cool down period cannot exceed three days, within which you must forgive and go back to the normal relationship. The Prophet (PBU) said: “It is not permissible for a Muslim to boycott his brother for over three days.”   He also said: “The doors of Heavens are opened on Monday and Thursday and Allah forgives everyone who does not associate anything with Him except for two who are boycotting one another, Allah will say: leave these two until they have made reconciliation.”   

10/ Study the tolerance and the forbearance level of the Prophet (PBUH) and imitate him. There are many of them.  One account was reported by Anas who said: “I was walking with the messenger of Allah (PBUH), and he was wearing his Najraani robe with a rough collar. A Bedouin came and seized him by the edge of his robe in a rough way that I saw the marks made by the collar on the Prophet’s neck. The Bedouin said in a commanding voice give me from the wealth of Allah that you have.  In spite of this awful behavior, the Prophet (PBUH) did not get angry. Rather, he (PBUH) smiled and ordered that he should be given what satisfies him.  

There are many accounts that clearly show the great tolerance of the Prophet (PBUH) in many situations that none of us could have tolerated.  We should learn from them because we are commanded to follow the Prophet’s example, he is our role model, as Allah says:

لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا  )الأحزاب(

You have indeed in the Messenger of Allah a beautiful role model for any one whose hope is in Allah and the Final Day, and who engages much in the praise of Allah. (Al-Ahzab 33: 21)

These are just few of the treatments that are identified from the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet (PBUH).  I am sure that you can identify additional ones.   Before I close, I want you to keep in mind that this disease of anger as well as all other diseases of the heart are driven by two main causes.

The first is the confusion (shubhat) (شبهات) due to lack of certainty in Allah and trust in Him due to impaired sense of faith.

The second is the personal desires and lust (Shahwat) (شهوات) that exceed their natural limit when people live merely to satisfy their urges. The root of this cause is the excessive love of the temporal world, covetousness, love of power and authority, and self-satisfaction.

Some scholars consider self-satisfaction is the source of every disobedience, indifference, and vice.  There are three signs of the person who is satisfied with himself:

1. He is sensitive to his own rights and indifferent to the rights of others.
2. He ignores his own faults, as if he has none, and be occupied with the faults of others.
3. He gives himself too much leniency and is strict with others.

While being dissatisfied with yourself is required, it does not imply self-loathing or loss of personal confidence.  Rather it is a proof of self-confidence, since only through confidence the person will have the courage to find faults in himself.  Dissatisfaction is a motivator to seek our better character and help us transform to be better servants of Allah. Talented people become underachievers when they become too satisfied with themselves. 

 We pray to Allah to make us of those who listen and benefit from the best of what have been said.  

We pray top Allah to forgive our short comings, to erase all forms of anger form our heart and to protect us from Satan

DUA

Appendix 1.  Types of Anger

Ref: The Angry Personality: A Representation on Six Dimensions of Anger Expression” by Ephrem Fernandez, January 2008

In book: International Handbook of Personality Theory and Testing: Volume 2

Types of Anger

Anger is a completely normal human emotion. Sometimes anger can be healthy and productive, but other times it can be destructive. Here are 10 types of anger that you should be aware of.

Assertive anger: uses feelings of frustration for positive change. You express your anger in ways that create change around you – without causing distress or destruction.

Behavioral anger: is expressed physically and is usually aggressive. You may feel so overwhelmed by your emotions that you lash out at the object of your anger.

Chronic anger: is an ongoing, generalized resentment of people, frustration with certain circumstances, and anger towards oneself.

Judgmental anger: is usually a reaction to a perceived injustice or someone else’s shortcoming.

Overwhelmed anger: is an uncontrolled type of anger that occurs when you feel that a situation or circumstance is beyond our control, resulting in feelings of hopelessness and frustration.

Passive aggressive: is an avoidant and likely tries to avoid all forms of confrontation. This involves repressing any feelings of frustration or anger you’re experiencing.

Retaliatory anger: is usually an instinctual response to being confronted or attacked by someone else and is one of the most common types of anger. It is motivated by revenge for a perceived wrong.

Self-abusive anger :is a shame based type of anger. If you have been feeling hopeless, unworthy, humiliated or ashamed, you might internalize those feelings and express anger via negative self-talk, self-harm, substance use, or eating disordered behavior.

Verbal anger: is a form of anger that deeply hurts the target of one’s anger. Verbal anger may be expressed as furious shouting, threats, ridicule, sarcasm, intense blaming or criticism.

Volatile anger: makes you feel mad about perceived annoyances, both big and small. Once you have impulsively expressed your anger, you often calm down just as quickly.

Dimensions and Anchors of Anger Expressions

THE ANGRY PERSONALITY: A REPRESENTATION ON SIX DIMENSIONS OF ANGER