الحمد لله وأشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له، وأشهد أن محمداً عبده ورسوله، اللهم صلِّ وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وأصحابه  ومن تبعه إلى يوم الدين

People study many subjects, but they ignore the most important subject, which is to study themselves, their Nafs.  Yes, we have academic disciplines such as psychology and psychiatry, “the science of the Nafs” and “the medicine of the Nafs” (علم النفس) (الطب النفسي).    But these disciplines mainly focus on the study of the behavior of the brain whether it is conscious and unconscious.  Therefore, the role of those specialists is to understand the role of the mental functions by exploring the physiological and biological processes that underlie cognitive functions and behaviors.

What is missing in these disciplines is the real understanding of the Nafs because unless you know what is Nafs, you will only be treating the symptoms of its diseases.  In this talk, I plan inshallah, to scratch the surface on the understanding of the Nafs which is frankly the most valuable thing that all of us have.   

As clarification, I am going to defining Nafs different from the definition I gave in my previous talk on the “Journey of the Soul” in which I discussed what is Ruh and what is Nafs which we translate as spirit and soul.   In that talk, I said that the Ruh and the Nfs are the same, except that the Ruh equipped with the divine installed information enters in the human body while in the mother’s womb and it exits at death with both the divine installed information and man’s installed records and in this case, it is generally called Nafs.  However, it is also called Ruh and thus the terms Nafs and Ruh are used interchangeably referring to what exits the human body at the time of death. As example, the Prophet (PBUH) used the term Run referring to what exits the body at  death by saying: 

عن أبي هريرة عند مسلم قال: (إذا خرجت روح المؤمن تلقاها ملكان – يُصعدانها ويقول أهل السماء: روح طيبة جاءت من قبل الأرض، ” وإنّ الكافر إذا خرجت روحه يقول أهل السماء: روح خبيثة من قبل الأرض(

“When the Ruh of the believer exits, two angels receive it and ascend with it and the residents of Heaven will say:  pleasant Ruh came from the direction of the earth.  And when the Ruh of the disbeliever exists, the residents of heaven will say, rotten Ruh is coming from the direction of earth.”  (Reported by Muslim)

But in this talk, I want to talk about Nafs as “the self”.  If I ask you who are you?  What will your answer be? You will probably answer by mentioning your name or your gender or your religion or your profession or your nationality.  But all these are adjectives of yourself, additives to your Nafs.   But a possible answer to the question who you are may be: “I am a Nafs that Allah created.  And if you want to expand on who you are, you may say:   I am a Nafs that Allah created to serve as His vicegerent on earth”.   This definition should help you understand who you are and serve as guide for all what you do.

The Nafs which is the self can be defined as a combination of ruh and body or as composed of three components: Ruh + Water + Soil.  Based on the definition that the Nafs is Ruh, water and soil, we can make some observations:

First: The Nafs is pure because all its components are pure, the ruh is pure, the water is pure, and the soil is pure.  The soil is pure because we use it for Tayammum for purification before the prayers when there is no water. After all, Allah says:

لَقَدۡ خَلَقۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ فِىٓ أَحۡسَنِ تَقۡوِيمٍ۬ (٤)

“Surely We created man in the best stature” (Al-Tim 95:4)

The point of the purity of every Nafs is emphasized by Allah revelation that all human beings are created with pure innate nature (فطره) and this pure nature, if maintained, leads to the perfect religion, Allah says:

(فَأَقِمۡ وَجۡهَكَ لِلدِّينِ حَنِيفً۬ا‌ۚ فِطۡرَتَ ٱللَّهِ ٱلَّتِى فَطَرَ ٱلنَّاسَ عَلَيۡہَا‌ۚ لَا تَبۡدِيلَ لِخَلۡقِ ٱللَّهِ‌ۚ ذَٲلِكَ ٱلدِّينُ ٱلۡقَيِّمُ وَلَـٰكِنَّ أَڪۡثَرَ ٱلنَّاسِ لَا يَعۡلَمُونَ (٣٠) (الروم)

“So, set your face to the upright religion, the innate nature that Allah instilled in mankind. There is no change in Allah’s creation. That is the perfect religion, but most of the people do not know.” (Al-Rome 30:30)

If this is the case, why do we see the corruption in the Nafs? It is we who corrupt our own Nafs.   Allah informs us that the blessings He granted us and this includes the purity of our Nafs, will not change unless we ourselves change them; Allah says:

ذَٲلِكَ بِأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَمۡ يَكُ مُغَيِّرً۬ا نِّعۡمَةً أَنۡعَمَهَا عَلَىٰ قَوۡمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنفُسِہِمۡ‌ۙ وَأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ۬ (٥٣)

That is so because Allah will never change a blessing which He has bestowed on a people until they change what is in their Nafs. For Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower. (Al-Anfal 8:53)

So, the key lesson in this verse is that Allah provided us with blessings, and He will not remove them unless we ourselves, destroy them.  If we destroy the blessings, we will never gain them back unless we change and thus Allah says:

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوۡمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُواْ مَا بِأَنفُسِہِمۡ‌ۗ

“Indeed! Allah will not change the condition of a people unless they change what is in their Nafs.” (Al-Rad 13:11)

Allah blessed us with pure Nafs, if we corrupt it, it is we who, must change, so Allah can return the blessing of purity back to us. 

Second: Since one of the components of Nafs is water, it possesses fluidity-type property that makes it adaptable to its situation.  Therefore, our Nafs is influenced by all things that we subject it to.  Everything that we hear and see will influence our Nafs.  These days we are bombarded with so much information from our phones, TV, radio, newspaper, friends, family, etc., and they have impact on us whether we recognize it or not.  We need to give our Nafs a chance for self-reflection by shutting of most of these things.  Everything we see or hear impact our thoughts and our thoughts will affect our feelings and our feelings will be reflected in our behaviors.    

Allah warned us that we will be responsible for all what we see and hear as He said:

  (إِنَّ السَّمْعَ وَالْبَصَرَ وَالْفُؤَادَ كُلُّ أُوْلَئِكَ كَانَ عَنْهُ مَسْئُولًا) [الإسراء:36]

“Surely, the hearing, the sight, and the feelings, one will be questioned about all of them” (Al-Isra 17:36)

The Prophet (PBUH) highlighted the impact of the society on the purity of the Nafs that every child is born with by saying:

 ما من مولود إلا يولد على الفطرة، فأبواه يهودانه، أو ينصرانه، أو يمجسانه

“No one is born except according to intrinsic pure nature, but his parents make them Jews, or Christians, or Magaians.”

Third: Since the Nafs of every human being is made of ruh, water and soil, all people have the same Nafs as Allah says.

وَهُوَ ٱلَّذِىٓ أَنشَأَكُم مِّن نَّفۡسٍ۬ وَٲحِدَةٍ۬ فَمُسۡتَقَرٌّ۬ وَمُسۡتَوۡدَعٌ۬‌ۗ قَدۡ فَصَّلۡنَا ٱلۡأَيَـٰتِ لِقَوۡمٍ۬ يَفۡقَهُونَ (٩٨)

“He is the One who created you from a single Nafs, then, you have habitation and a repository. We have elaborated the signs for the people who understand.” (Al-An’am 6:98)

You can think of the Nafs like the bread dough, from which the Nafs of all people is formed.  There may be some minor variations, one may have a little sugar added to his dough, the other may have a little salt, one may have some raisins and others may have some blueberry, but the main ingredients are the same.    Therefore, if you can understand your Nafs, you will be able to understand 70 to 80% of the Nafs of other people.   

While no one will be willing to sit in front of you to study his Nafs, you should focus on studying your own Nafs, it is free.  In addition, you can run experiments on your Nafs and you will not be causing harm to anyone.  If you make mistake, you will be making mistake to yourself and no one will be upset form you.

If you truly know your Nafs, you will be able to know the reality of other people.  If you know what makes you happy and what makes you sad, what makes you angry and what makes you calm; you will know what makes other people feel the same.  Allah reminded us of the commonality of our feelings by saying:

وَأَنَّهُ ۥ هُوَ أَضۡحَكَ وَأَبۡكَىٰ (٤٣)

“And He (Allah) is the One Who makes laugh and makes weep.” (Al-Najm 53:43)

Therefore, you should focus on analyzing your Nafs rather than trying to analyze others.  It has been said, the one who points a finger at others overlooks that his three fingers are pointing at him.

If you are serious and is able to understand your Nafs, you will be able to uncover what is behind the masks that people sometime have to cover their feelings.  You will be able to understand what is behind a laugh and what is the meaning of the smile.  You know that because you have read them in your Nafs.

How do you know your Nafs?  If you buy an Apple iPhone, how do you know what is in it and how to operate it.  Obviously, you study the manual issued by apple.  I suppose it will be foolish if you decided to go and study the manual issued by Samsung for Galaxy phone. The same thing, if you want to study your Nafs, study the manual of the One who created this Nafs, He is Allah.   He has already revealed to you the Manual, which is the Quran.  All you need to do is to seriously study it to know what corrupts your Nafs and what purifies it, what makes it happy and what makes is depressed.  This is why Allah demands us to seriously study the Quran.  Allah says:

كِتَابٌ أَنْزَلْنَاهُ إِلَيْكَ مُبَارَكٌ لِيَدَّبَّرُوا آيَاتِهِ وَلِيَتَذَكَّرَ أُولُو الْأَلْبَابِ )ص(

(This is) a Book which We have sent down to you, full of blessings that they should to the Tadabour of its Verses, and those who have understanding may heed/reflect (on its commands). “(Sad 38:29)

The Prophet (PBUH) said to Abu Dhar (أبي ذر رضي):

عن أبي ذر رضي الله عنه قال : قَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى الله عَليْهِ وسَلَّمَ 🙁 يَا أَبَا ذَرٍّ ! لأَنْ تَغْدُوَ فَتَعَلَّمَ آيَةً مِنْ كِتَابِ اللهِ خَيْرٌ لَكَ مِنْ أَنْ تُصَلِّيَ مِائَةَ رَكْعَةٍ ) “رواه ابن ماجه في  السنن(

“O Abu Dhar, to go and study one verse from the book of Allah is better for you than praying hundred Rakks.”  (obviously, the reference here is to the voluntary prayers)

In this manual, Allah informs us that this Nafs is especially important creation, it is even greater than the universe, this is indicated by the oath that Allah started with in Surat Al-Shams (91).  Allah makes Oaths with the greatest of his creations. Allah made an oath with 6 of His great creations and ended with the seventh oath which is the Nafs illustrating the importance of the Nafs, Allah said:  

وَٱلشَّمۡسِ وَضُحَٮٰهَا (١) وَٱلۡقَمَرِ إِذَا تَلَٮٰهَا (٢) وَٱلنَّہَارِ إِذَا جَلَّٮٰهَا (٣) وَٱلَّيۡلِ إِذَا يَغۡشَٮٰهَا (٤) وَٱلسَّمَآءِ وَمَا بَنَٮٰهَا (٥) وَٱلۡأَرۡضِ وَمَا طَحَٮٰهَا (٦) وَنَفۡسٍ۬ وَمَا سَوَّٮٰهَا (٧)

By the sun and it brightness, (1) And by the moon when it follows it, (2) And by the day when it reveals it, (3) And the night when it envelops it, (4) And the heaven and Him Who built it, (5) And by the earth and Him Who spread it, (6) And by a Nafs and Him Who perfected it (Al-Shams 91: 1-7)

Then Allah followed by describing key attributes of this Nafs by saying:

وَنَفۡسٍ۬ وَمَا سَوَّٮٰهَا (٧) فَأَلۡهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقۡوَٮٰهَا (٨) قَدۡ أَفۡلَحَ مَن زَكَّٮٰهَا (٩) وَقَدۡ خَابَ مَن دَسَّٮٰهَا (١٠)

And by a Nafs and Him Who perfected it, (7) Then He inspired it what is wrong for it and (what is) right for it. (8) Indeed, the successful is he who purifies it, (9) And indeed the useless is he who corrupts it. (Al-Shams 91:7-10)

We said that Nafs is this dough that is formed from Ruh + water + soil.  On other word, the Nafs is Ruh and body.  Because the Ruh has to be balanced against the two earthly elements of the body, the water and the soil, it needs more attention.  The problem arises when the body that is formed of water and soil transgresses against the Ruh. 

While Allah created for us in earth for us food, water and beauty to nourish the body, overwhelming us with them can come on the expense of the Ruh.  Therefore, almost all the rituals that Allah made obligatory are intended to provide the balance by not only nourishing the Ruh but by also disciplining the body.  Therefore, many of the obligatory rituals involve physical activities such as the ones we perform during the prayers and during the Hajj.  Also, fasting has physical elements to purify the body.   Beyond fasting, the Prophet (PBUH) discouraged Muslims from excessive eating.  Early Muslims were obligated to spend most of the night praying that was physically very tiring. 

Purification of the Nafs requires giving attention to both the Ruh and the body.  Islam demands a balance.  This what the Prophet (PBUH) did by affirming the advice that Salman Al Farisi gave to Abu Al Darda (أَبَا الدَّرْدَاءِ) when he told him:

قَالَ سَلْمَانُ إِنَّ لِرَبِّكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا وَلِنَفْسِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا وَلِأَهْلِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا فَأَعْطِ كُلَّ ذِي حَقٍّ حَقَّهُ فَأَتَى النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فَذَكَرَ ذَلِكَ لَهُ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ صَدَقَ سَلْمَانُ]   صحيح البخاري[

“You have a duty to your Lord, you have a duty to your Nafs, and you have a duty to your family, so you should fulfill the duty of each one.”

How do you ensure the balance of the Ruh and the body?  It will be great if before we you sleep every night to perform a personal audit regarding what have we done for the Ruh (good or bad) and what have we done for the body (good and bad) and commit to address any imbalance and shortcoming.  You should strive to have everyday better than the previous one.   The life of a Muslim must always be moving up not staying in the same horizontal plane.  

If you want to treat the Ruh, treat it from its source which is heaven and if you want to treat the body treat it from its source which is the earth.  This may be the reason why it is not possible to treat the diseases of the Ruh with earthly medicine.  Therefore, you find many people who are treated for depression which is a disease of the Ruh with medication, commit suicide.  In fact I have a very intelligent Chinese friend who had Ph.D form Berkeley who committed suicide. It turns out that he was suffering from depression and was treated with Prozak.   There are major studies by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) that have shown that antidepressants give rise to greater tendency of suicide particularly for children and adolescents and for the older group, there was no difference between those who were treated with medication and those who were not treated by medication. 

We said that the Nafs has body and Ruh, Allah informs us that there are 3 types of Nafs: 1) the first is the reproaching Nafs (النفس اللوامة) which is always in a state of awareness of its mistakes and quick in its repentance, 2) the second is the content Nafs (النفس المطمئنة) which is always in a state of full acceptance of Allah’s decrees and is in extreme love of Allah, and 3) the third is the evil inciter Nafs (النفس الأمارة بالسوء) that beautifies evil acts in the eye of the person and makes him absent minded from its evil implication.

Out of these three Nafs, the most preferred is the content Nafs (النفس المطمئنة) but the most important is the reproaching Nafs (النفس اللوامة), because it is the one by which one can reach the content Nafs.  It is also the one Nafs that Allah made an oath with it; Allah said in Surat Al-Qiyamah:

لَآ أُقۡسِمُ بِيَوۡمِ ٱلۡقِيَـٰمَةِ (١) وَلَآ أُقۡسِمُ بِٱلنَّفۡسِ ٱللَّوَّامَةِ (٢)

I swear by the Day of Resurrection; (1) And I swear by the reproaching Nafs. (Al-Qiyamah 75:1-2)

While the evil inciter Nafs is bad, the worst is the heedless Nafs that does not even think.  At least the evil inciter Nafs may change but the Nafs that is completely disconnected from Heaven and from the Hereafter will be extremely hard to change.

No one can really achieve the content Nafs all the time, the righteous person will always be oscillating between the reproaching Nafs and the content Nafs.  Why, because this life is a life of trial and tests and you will never have a completely content Nafs until you enter paradise.  The happiness that a believer feels in this life is in this struggle that he goes through to advance his reproaching Nafs to a content state. 

How can one treat the diseases of his Nafs?  The first and absolutely necessary step is for you to understand the path you set for your Nafs in this life.  This path is defined based on three relationships:  relationship with Allah, relationship with the self and relationship with others, and others includes people and objects.

To evaluate yourself, you need to assess how do you rank the priorities of these relationships and there are six permutations for the priority ranking of these relationships:

1. Others, I and Allah: Pleasing Allah for such a person falls in his lowest priority.  He only focuses on impressing people to feel good.  He is always worried what other people will say about him.   You will see the reaction of such a person and the depression he feels if say his fiancé leaves him.  You see it also of people who commit suicide because their beloved entertainer dies.
2. Others, Allah and I: This person may work long hours for money to please his wife and kids and even to help his friends. He will justify his efforts as pleasing to Allah.   But such a person focuses on the opinion of others about him, he always seeks approvals and acknowledgement. If he does not receive them, he gets upset and mad. 
3. I, others and Allah: The most importance issue for this person is his own comfort and pleasure.  This person is always demanding of others what he feels he has done for them.  He only looks at the opinion of others as long as it is pleasing to him, but he would not accept any criticism or even advice that disturbs his comfort.  For this person, Allah is not in his account.
4. I, Allah and others: This person focuses on his comfort and enjoyment and completely ignores the comfort of others. His comfort may even be in engaging in activities that is pleasing to Allah such as prayers and dhikr, but he ignores balancing the rights of himself and of Allah with the right of others.   This person may be one who takes good care of himself, he eats right, exercises regularly, always well dressed and obeys Allah but does not care about others.  An example of such person is the one for whom the concept of marriage is absence from his mind because it will distract from taking care of himself and from his routine worship.
5. Allah, others and I: This person does things in support of others, whether people or organizations, to please Allah.  But he will likely fall in the trap that those whom he supports and sacrifices for, do not reciprocate or acknowledge his efforts.  He will get angry and may even start cursing them and become depressed. You may see this happens around Masjids, a person spends a lot of time volunteering but when someone criticizes him, he gets angry and even quit coming to the masjid.  This also happens within the family when the sacrifices of one are not acknowledged or reciprocated at times of need by others. 
6. Allah, I and others: This person has clarity regarding what is pleasuring to Allah and he places a fence around himself whose borders are the limit that Allah established.  He does not allow others to cross his divine fence unless they are subjected to Allah’s criteria.  He will also not get out of his fence unless he is going to another fence of Allah’s limit that belongs to others.  This by no means suggest that such a person is isolated from the society, it only means that is isolated from their influences.  The Prophet (PBUH) said:

عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: (الْمُؤْمِنُ الَّذِي يُخَالِطُ النَّاسَ، وَيَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ ، أَعْظَمُ أَجْرًا مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِ الَّذِي لَا يُخَالِطُ النَّاسَ ، وَلَا يَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ ) وصححه الألباني في ” صحيح الترمذي ” .] الترمذي، وابن ماجة[

“The believer who mixes with the people and endures their harm has a greater reward than one who does not mix the people nor endures their harm.”.

Establishing the true priorities for your Nafs is not something that others can do for you, you must do this evaluation yourself.  Most people will start by thinking that their highest priority is Allah, but an easy way to discover your real priorities is to assess:

1. What are the things that make you content and happy?
2. What are the things that make you annoyed and upset?

We pray to Allah to help us to elevate our Nafs from the reproaching to the content and cleanse it from the evil inciter one.

We pray to Allah to guide us and give us the wisdom to set the proper priorities in our lives.

DUA